B18
Public Record
Excerpt from novel: with Abandon

i like knowing that She has pooped recently

by the little wet footprints on the bathroom stool.
She told me, “put your feet on the stool when you poop;
you've got to curl your rectum
so that your sphincter isn't tied shut.”
i didn't know that.
all this time i've been pooping
with my rectum above my knees
and my sphincter tied shut
like some idiot pushing against a wall.

once again,
i'm the cause
of all my suffering.

so She tells me this,
that holding my knees above my butthole
will send it all plopping out, and
i tell Her there's no way
but sure enough,
She left the stool in front of the toilet
and i tried it
and i swear to god it came out of me
like luggage onto a baggage carousel.
it was a life-changing moment;
i couldn’t think about pooping
with a tied-shut anus ever again.

so i see Her little wet footprints on the stool
and i know that as soon as She got out of the shower,
She had a very nice poop,
and it all just fell right out of Her.
i think that must have lightened Her day
to take a nice poop like that,
and i smile at the thought.

Frida Bilson