B53
Public Record
Excerpt from novel: with Abandon

i hear the door open, ask Her:

—Where have you been?
—I went for a walk, She says. I went to see the high tide.
—You’re dripping on the carpet.
—I wanted to get my feet wet a little.
—You could have told me, left a note or something.
—If I had known you'd be up I might have. But I didn't, and here we are. Look I'm sorry but I don't feel I need to apologize.
—You've been smoking.
—Yes, I had a bit to drink, too. 
—I wasn't sure if you would come back. You should have left a note.
—I wasn't either. I'll leave a note next time.
—Do you want to talk about anything?
—It's almost light out. I should get some sleep.

and both of us proceed to get no sleep.
we both pretend to,
each knowing that both of us are only pretending to,
which was the worst of it.
the silence and our too loud brains screaming their
‘get out get out!’s
and making our stomachs sick with guilt
for entertaining those thoughts.

Frida Bilson