B27
Public Record
Excerpt from novel: with Abandon

what is my value

where is my worth
tell me, the exchange rate of me
because i can’t see

let me make you giggly with glee
let me suckle your teat, surrogate mother
let me cause you to see
how truly wonderful i can be
and then question whether you’re sane
for thinking i could be anything other than
vapid.

oh world, let me make you come.
let me stroke your sopped insides
and roll your pearl across my tender tongue.
as i listen to your breathing to inform my pacing.
let us together speed up, slow, pause, tease, graze,
let me assert myself into you
smearing my pelvis across your nerve endings.
let me hear you finish as i continue.
let me hear you come till you can’t.

me?
i’m good,
no thanks.
that’s ok,
i’m fine,
really.

this isn’t about me;
this is about you
seeing me.
see me for what i am
and tell me what you see.
be my oral mirror.
be my guiding light til the afterlife

so that i can know:
who is my self?
what are its qualities?
why is it so needy?
what is it longing for
and
will it ever taste
satiate?

Frida Bilson