B88
Public Record
Excerpt from novel: with Abandon

my only reservation

is the formidable chance
that the rest of my life
will be unalterably worse
after making this decision.
aside from that,
i feel fine.

i will only know
which decision
was the better one
years from now
when, sitting alone,
watching dust flurries
in the window light,
my running thoughts
lead unmotivated
to this moment,
and i say out loud,
involuntary,
"goddamnit."
and breathe out
every ounce
of my self.

Frida Bilson